Give Yourself into the Ocean--Rumi

You've heard descriptions
of the ocean of non-existence.

Try, continually, to give yourself
into that ocean. Every workshop
has its foundations set
on that emptiness.

The Master of all masters
works with nothing.

The more nothing comes into your work,
the more God is there.

Dervishes gamble everything. They lose,
and win the Other, the emptiness
which animates this.

We've talked so much! Remember
what we haven't said.

And keep working. Exert yourself
toward the pull of God.

Laziness and disdain are not devotions.
Your efforts will bring a result.

You'll watch the wings of divine attraction
lift from the nest and come toward you!

As dawn lightens, blow out the candle.
Dawn is in your eyes now.

~Rumi

Version by Coleman Barks
One Handed Basket Weaving

We heart felting....

The Monkey and the Crocodile

We had a late start today, but it ended up productive. Noah is learning how to finger knit, we spent a few hours yesterday making flowers from finger knitting. Eden tags along, mostly scribbling on paper and parroting what her big brother and sister say about what they are drawing. If Ami is drawing a picture of a monkey and crocodile in her good book, then Noah draws along, creating something wonderful as well, showing me "look at my crocodile mama!" then Eden holds up her paper, full of scribbles, saying "I make it! I make a wokadile!" Adorable. She is so proud of herself and loves to just chime in and join in. I don't know what I would do without all of them, all so different and so amazing.

So, today we worked on our second day of math lessons. We went over the number 10, finding out what numbers were "in 10." (9+1, 8+2 and so on). Then we drew a picture of The Crocodile and the Monkey and wrote some subtraction problems out which were associated with the story. Ami draws beautifully and this Waldorf schooling is perfect in supporting her artistic abilities. After math, all the kids made playdough food and played with a makeshift kitchen they constructed out of a stool and a pizza stone.  Ami then read me another chapter of Owl at Home while I deconstructed turkeys on the counter--putting all our birds in to the freezer. We had a good long talk about killing animals for food, the morality of it, what the Creator/Universe ultimately wants from us (according, of course, to our beliefs), and why we will refrain from raising animals specifically for food any longer. Ami found a praying mantis today that was gravely injured and suffering, we talked about suffering and how it was more humane to help the poor thing "go back to the Creator" rather than suffer needlessly in a failing body. We said goodbye and put the poor thing out of it's misery, and the kids buried it.

Ami went to pottery class then, by herself, and created an amazing lion (Lion King, again :) After pottery, the kids played outside and then came to dinner, we had duck with plum sauce, wild rice and cranberries. Chris took the little ones to bed for some stories, while Ami and I sat on the couch knitting for a while, then I read her some Black Beauty and a great story from The Brown Fairy Book.

Inner Work: Appreciate every day and realize that the children are gifts which we will have for only a short while. Do our best to show caring, patient, reflecting exteriors, even if we don't exactly feel this way inside. Radiate calm and caring, cultivate peace. Every moment is an act of creation.

Clowns of God

CLOWNS OF GOD

I know what are you thinking.

You need a sign.

What better one could I give

than to make this little one whole and new?

I could do it; but I will not.

I am the Creator and not a conjurer.

I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you

ETERNAL INNOCENCE

To you she looks imperfect

but to me she is flawless,

like the bud that dies unopened,

or the fledglings

that fall from the nest to be devoured by ants.

She never offended me,

as all of you have done.

She never perverted the work of My hands.

She is necessary to you.

She will evoke the kindness that will prompt you to

gratitude for own good fortune....more.....

she will remind you every day that I am who I am,

that My ways are not your ways,

and the smallest dust mite whirled in darkest

space does not fall out of my hand.

I have chosen you.

you have not chosen me.

this little one is my sign to you.

TREASURE HER.

Math Main Lesson Block, week 1

So, today we began the day with a new CD I purchased called "This is the Way we Wash-a-Day," which was very helpful in getting the kids focused on brushing their teeth, getting dressed, making beds and putting away laundry, before we began our lessons. We started back with math again today for a new block. We wrote with sidewalk chalk on the porch, numbers from 1-24 and then jumped out the 2 and 3 times tables on the number track, while holding hands and leaping. We also circled every 5th number to get a feeling for the 5 times table.  Next we read a story for subtraction called The Monkey and the Crocodile, which we will go into tomorrow in the Math good book. We sang spanish songs about the alphabet and counting. Then we had lunch. It was rainy outside today so that we couldnt really go out. Ami drew an amazing picture of the Lion King characters, a movie she is excited about now since we checked it out from the library last week. I tell her she can watch the movie as long as we get all our lessons and reading done and so long as she is knitting while she has it on. She has been knitting a washcloth for Nana and is excited to start on a lion stuffed animal (again, Lion King excitement). We practiced recorder again, singing and playing "Raindrop Faeries" which Ami is really getting good at. Noah learned to sing the song as well. We made Sweet Potato biscuits and filled up on them so we really couldn't eat a proper dinner. Ami read me the third chapter of Owl at Home, and I read her a couple chapters of Black Beauty before bedtime.

Catching up

So I haven't been all that good about making daily updates to this blog, so I will do my best to describe what we did last week in our nature lessons.

Wednesday: we took a walk at the nearby USFWS boardwalk in town to investigate what was happening in the swamp. The Fauth kids came with us and I had to spend a little time trying to settle and focus everyone, instead of just running around willy-nilly. This was we were better able to see wildlife. We found lots of mushrooms, discussed cypress knees and tree breathing, watched which way the water in the river was flowing, found turtles, butterflies, spiders, water beetles, small fish and geese. We then went to the library and checked out slew of books, including books on beavers which Ami was asking about on the walk. Once we got home we took out our nature "good book" (Ami chose a green one), and drew pictures of the leaves we collected and the things we saw, also writing a list of the items in the book. Ami read me a chapter of "Owl at Home," and we practiced the recorder and knitted a little.

Thursday we studied about Alligators, something the kids are very much into right now. We have alligators around here, and we watched some youtube videos of alligators here at ARNWR. We made a poster collage of an alligator and wrote out the word A_L_L_I_G_A_T_O_R, assigning an adjective to each letter describing the animal. We then switched to beavers, reading the books we got from the library. We made bread, read aloud from Black Beauty, and did some math review. At 3:30 in town there was a showing of "Pete's Dragon" playing at the historical theatre, so we headed down there for something different. The kids liked it, but I found it incredibly looooooooooooooong and frustrating to deal with Eden, who would not be quiet or sit still or take no for an answer, at all, ever! She's still cute though :) and this is a small town, few people in the children's movie,  so I wasn't too worried about it, it was just exhausting.

Friday we cleaned the house (it's our official cleaning day), but not very well, since I discovered that Viola had eaten a large amount of Pokeberry plants over in the Swain's yard. This made her sick and weak from digestive problems. We had to medicate her a few times and I wormed her for good measure. We made dinner, which was venison meatloaf, fresh bread, homemade mac-n-cheese and green beans. Lydie stayed over. We lit candles, read some nice poetry, said what we were most thankful for in the past week.

Sunday we had slaughter day, this was a good nature lesson if there ever was one. My mom came over and watched the kids while Chris and I worked putting 10 turkeys and 3 ducks into the freezer. It was hard bloody work, and I felt bad doing it. Ami came out once in the middle of me cleaning out a turkey and I told her "this is why we aren't eating meat anymore." "Why not?" she askes. "Because it's not nice," I reply. It really is not nice. I don't like taking lives, specifically from animals brought into existence for food. We will continue to eat roosters, drakes and bucks that are a by-product of our egg-layer and goat-milking efforts, but beyond that, it's just too high a soul-price to pay for a few meatballs.

Nature Main Lesson Week 1

Today we started our day with sweet potato pancakes and maple syrup. Then we decided to take a walk in the pasture looking for signs of autumn, but first we had to take our grass-eaters (horses, donkey, goats) next door to the neighbor's pasture lot because our grass has gotten so short that Weenie was beginning to lose weight and we haven't gotten any hay yet. Everyone is happily grazing and the goats are packed up tight :). Ami, Noah, Eden and I then walked around the pasture talking about how the weather is turning colder and the days shorter, so the grass is not growing as fast as it once did, we saw some gum leaves turning purple and red, then decided to go to an area of the pasture where an old tree had fallen onto the fence a few days before--the kids had been there arranging the logs previously so they were forming a sort of 3-sided house. We stacked some more logs, noting how the tree was so light and airy, how the termites had chewed it up and dried it out so completely you could just pick huge logs up and carry them around. We then ventured to another log pile and turned some old wood over looking for beetles, etc. Ami found a big beetle which rushed into a tunnel, and the wood was so damp and soft we could peel back enormous sheets of wood inspecting insect tunnel homes. We found pill-bugs, spiders, big black beetles (which emitted a nasty smell when disturbed), and centipedes, as well as other unknown sorts of insects. We found that the bugs were chewing up the wood which was rather powdery and would eventually contribute to new soils which would allow for new growth. Eden and I then went inside to start lunch while Noah and Ami stayed to play a while longer. We had crackers, cheese, cukes and leftover pancakes for lunch, and then, after a candle lighting and a short prayer of thanks to the Creator for the cycle of life (whereby nothing, not even a dead log, is wasted) Ami and Noah drew pictures of our discoveries into thier main lesson books. Ami wrote a short few sentences and drew a pic of dead log insect tunnels. A little play time, then we moved on to recorder, practicing Raindrop Fairies, Ami did really well and we sang the song and played it all the way through together. Next we sat at the table and decided to have a tea party and count coins. We practiced making dollars out of quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies and found that we had $6.79 all together, figuring that would be enough money to buy 11 ice cream cones at the drug store in Hertford. After this we went to the couch to read Animals Build Amaing Homes, we read about termite mounds and Alligators (the kids have been crazy about Alligators lately). I read-aloud a few chapters of Black Beauty while Ami knitted a row onto her washcloth. We closed the day with her reading me the first chapter from Owl At Home. They are now outside playing in the horse pasture again and I am getting ready to do some needle felting.

Cat and Chicken

Today I had the opportunity to sit with Nana, alone, and learn a little more knitting. Ami and I went to Grammy's house, while Eden and Noah stayed home with Lydie and played. Ami sat with Grammy and colored a picture of birds and lions--eventually they left, with Ardes, to go to a free concert of 60's music at the art center. Grammy told me later that Ami sat on her lap the whole time while she sang in her ear :) While they were gone, the house was quiet and peaceful while Nana and I finished knitting a chicken doll and then a cat doll. We each knitted the bodies of the dolls, and stuffed them, created their faces, and then when Ami returned she finger-knitted a little tail for the cat. It was really nice to just sit and have some quiet with my Nana. I hate the we live so far away. Maybe we will have to go for another visit soon. I got some video of her knitting style and cast on techniques, and heard a story of how she returned home one day when my mom was a young girl and found her climbing the light pole over the street near their yard.   She also told how my mom was once shimmying along the clotheslines between theirs and the neighbors backyards. She didn't have interest in knitting because she couldn't sit still and would rather be outside climbing a tree. Sounds a little like Ami, although Ami is definitely able to sit and focus carefully. She already has the handwriting of an adult, at 7 y/o, and is capable of wrapping the felt wee folk doll's legs and arms with embroidery floss, which I can barely tolerate for the tedium necessary to do it right.

Peanut mountain

Today the kids and I rushed out the door so we wouldn't be late for our meeting with the manager of Jimbo's Jumbo's peanuts, we were meeting Nana, Ardes, Grammy and Grandpa Bill to take the tour of of the peanut processing plant. We got to see from the huge peanut mountain of raw nuts to the huge volkswagen sized bags full of shelled peanuts, through the process of salting, roasting, grinding, chopping and making peanut butter. The peanut butter from this plant goes in Ben and Jerry's ice cream, peanut butter cookies, etc. We had a great time, especially the part where we got to climb to the top of a 2-story high mountain of peanuts and body surf back down. Noah was a little hesitant at first, but he climbed up happily if I went with him. He seemed afraid of the height. Eden tossed peanuts around at the bottom of the mound, while Ami climbed up and down, up and down, diving headfirst downward to slide/surf to the bottom.

Knitting with Nana

Today Amelie and I knitted with our Nana, whom we have not seen for 2 years. Nana is visiting us from Chicago, staying at my mom's house, along with long-lost Auntie Ardes. We spent the afternoon poking wool into wonderful needlefelted mushrooms, fish, fairies and lizards. Nana and I co-knitted a chicken body, which we will stuff tomorrow. I learned to purl and do ribbing :) Amazing. I am opening to a whole new world in fiber and handwork which I had no idea existed. To round out my new found passions in life I need also, eventually, to take up guitar and become an amazing dancer (Chris will have to be convinced so we can take lessons).

Well, today was good, we spent much of it out of the house, but we started our morning with a candle and a verse, followed by a main lesson of alliteration, copywork, and illustration of "Naughty needles knit nine new neckties" into the last page of her Language Arts Good Book (main lesson book). She then read the writing from the entire book to me and then worked independently on a made-up storybook she's been working on called "The Building Bear" about a very handsome bear who builds a boat whichhe sails away on. We sang Hebrew songs and recited the 2, 10 and 3 times tables on the way to Grammy's house, then knitted and practiced recorder while there. Noah spent much of his time preparing bits of wool for Ardes's goldfish, but then was allowed to pick up a needle under strict supervision: he created a fairy, fish and lizard. When we got home we cooked dinner of golden beets, tomatoes and cucumbers from the garden, sweet potatoes from the local farmer, hard-boiled guinea eggs and fresh baked bread with hummus and carrots. We finished up Alice in Wonderland! Ami REALLY liked that story, with all it's craziness. We had a very good day with lots of positivity, parental patience and good behavior example setting!

My goal for tomorrow:
More of the same. Exercise cool calm and collected control of myself when feeling that urge of frustration coming forth, deeply breathe and demonstrate to my children in every way, proper behavior. No exasperated sighing. No tension. Remember always the amazing creatures of heaven the children are and allow them to help open me up to living always in their open-hearted ways. We will spend more time tomorrow with Nana and gang when we head to a peanut plant, where we will learn all about peanuts, growing, harvesting, roasting, etc, and the kids will climb an enormous "peanut mountain." Then for ice cream and pick up feed for the goats.

Shalom.....

Tomorrow I will.....

...show my children patience.
...show my children kindness and warmth.
...give my children hugs, not lectures.
...begin our morning lessons with a verse, and light a candle.
...finish Alice in Wonderland with Ami, begin Black Beauty, and read at least 6 books to Eden and Noah.
...pray for guidance in questioning whether things are essential or not.
...not eat anything that is not good for me.
...be silly, and laugh with my children.
...find creative ways to enlist the children's help with chores, rather than badgering.
...check back on this blog to see how much I have succeeded.

The goal of this blog is to 1) serve as my own journal of inner spiritual centering work, so I can be more available to my children, my self and my husband in ways I want to be. 2) This blog will serve as a way to chronicle, visually, the educational and spiritual development of my children. I don't scrapbook--this will have to suffice. 3) This blog will hopefully lead me to others (Waldorf parents, homeschoolers, natural living proponents, fair-trade, hand-made, anti-factory farming, midwife and homebirth loving mamas and papas) who are on a similar path of self discovery, self reflection, true-self-seeking.

I hope others do join along the journey....if not, I will still be here, talking to myself, walking myself along this beautiful path. May I always enjoy the view.